internet politics

If you have ever thought that you were a level headed individual able to withstand the petty, pedantic polemics that make the rest of us go crazy, I dare you to try your luck on news website comment sections.

I was one such person who considered himself of even temperament, believing myself to be "above it all". Well, as it turns out, I am not above shit.

It was these internet comment sections on news websites that revealed it to me. I was blown away by what I saw. Rampant bigotry, ignorance, arrogance, churlishness, childishness, all unfolding before my eyes. It truly was awesome in its formal meaning. How could I pass up the opportunity to click the reply button? There were idiots and bigots that needed to be told whats what. So many smug comments, believing themselves to be impervious to all logical attacks, needed smashing. People disagreed with me and thought they were right. How could I let that go? The first time I replied to one of these such comments, I felt pangs of remorse. I immediately became resigned to not ever comment in such a cold spirited fashion again, even if I was in the right. This lasted about ten seconds until I received a reply to my reply. Malice again entered my heart as I then proceeded the battle in the trenches of cyber space commenting again and again and again. I couldn't help myself, I was addicted to my opinions and what the world thought of them. This proceeded for several days. I found myself seeking out all the popular news websites and clicking on the most polemical topics on each. It didn't really matter though. Any story would do. An article about a missing persons case would have a raging battle pitched between conservative Christians and atheist liberals. Being cruel was as easy as directing tactile functions across a keyboard. Truth was hardly the main point. The main point was making sure that those who disagreed with me knew that they were idiots.

This has continued until recently, when I had this fortunate self-realization. I had become the very thing that I had hated so much. Opinionated, condescending, arrogant, childlike, the list could go on for some time.

Here's a not so exhaustive list of things I have learned about myself through this experience.

1. My commenting was a tool for validation of my thoughts
2. The content of my comments was more culturally affected than I had originally given them credit for being
3. I am not a very kind person

I could probably go on and on about the complexities of each. However I feel like you can get the gist of what each one is saying. My opinions weren't worth the damage I was doing to myself and those around me. If I have one chance to live, I don't want to be followed by the ghosts of the aforementioned all my life. It has been an embarrassing experience. I have a long way to go if I am ever going to be both a pensive and caring individual. I certainly can't do it alone.

One final thought. I don't mean to say that all opinions aren't worth the trouble. In fact, opinions sometimes might be the only thing worth the trouble. There does come a time when you'll have to fight for what you believe in. Yet even then, the proper spirit is not one of cruelty or indifference. It is one of empathy. It is a spirit whose heart aches at the divisions it creates.